


Let It Go (Keanu Reeves x Reader) Part 3/3

by ficsnroses



Category: Actor RPF, American (US) Actor RPF, Canadian Actor RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Romantic Fluff, Romantic Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:00:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23321338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ficsnroses/pseuds/ficsnroses
Summary: What do you do when the love of your life is slipping away?
Relationships: Keanu Reeves/Reader, Keanu Reeves/You
Kudos: 7





	Let It Go (Keanu Reeves x Reader) Part 3/3

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings : swearing, symptoms of a mild panic attack.  
> Enjoy!

On the eve of December, Y/N laid solitary in her bed, puffed, tired eyes spewing tears down her fragile cheeks. She reminisced on her life in the past year, and the decisions that lead to her current state. 

With the beginning of Winter just a few figures away, the days had become increasingly cold and lonely, leaving Y/N in a melancholier state than usual. They had become shorter and darker as well. Sometimes, as she felt the first gust of frosty morning air fill her lungs after the crestfallen night, she swore she took it as relief. The customary feeling of suffocation she constantly felt proved to be only a distraction.

It had been a little over a year since that miserable night she had endured with Keanu. The night that continued to haunt her till today. She thought time would fix the gaping hole she felt in her heart, however, the situation had proved otherwise. She thought time would only make her feel better, perhaps proving to her that the decision she made for them that night was right. Contrary to her belief however, it seemed like time only fogged her mind with the thought of Keanu more and more as it passed. Every memory, ever part of him seemed to be painted over her mind, like a mural.

_____

On the other side of the city, Keanu found himself tossing and turning the corners of the bed ceaselessly. He opted to leave the refuge of his bedroom for a midnight smoke. He found himself having a lot of those lately, anything to escape the constant stiffness he felt ever since Y/N left. Running a hand through his long, scruffy hair, he struggled to keep his groggy eyes open. He struggled to find solace in the dark, lonely hours of the night ever since the weight of Y/N’s body had stopped resting beside him in their bed. It had been well over a year, yet the thought of her still managed to leave a physical toll on his heart. A midnight smoke helped relief that tension built up inside of him, only temporarily though. He had stopped thinking it was possible to forget her. He too, had stopped believing time would heal the wounds that disheartening night left on them both.

Dragging his feet along the tile floors, Keanu breathed a heavy sigh as he passed the kitchen. It was dark in the house, yet he could still see all the different canisters, the block of kitchen knives and various other cooking utensils and gadgets neatly tucked away on the marble counters. Y/N loved to cook. Better yet, she loved to cook for Keanu. She knew how busy he always was, and how before her, he barely got the chance to have a home cooked meal made with love offered to him. She would constantly be searching up recipes, or watching the food network channel to find new delicacies to try out. She often made Keanu feel at home for a lot of other reasons as well. Ever since they had met, Y/N had helped Keanu feel a true sense of belonging. She was his closest form of family, and the last year without her had left him feeling more numb than ever. He found himself reminiscing more than usual lately, and that was just what he did in that moment the moonlit night channeled over the kitchen, leaving his mind drifting to the thought of Y/N once again.

~~~~

_“Babe! I told you, it’s 2 leveled scoops of flour, not heaping.” Y/N’s sweet, honey dripped voice spoke softly to Keanu, giggling in the process._

_“What’s the difference..?” Keanu questioned back, brows furrowing together. Y/N had decided she wanted to bake a cake that day, and Keanu offered to help. He loved helping her in the kitchen, it was quality time they got to spend together doing a fun activity. Not to mention, he loved the way she would scrunch up her face when she was reading the recipe and got a little confused, he found it to be the cutest sight he had ever seen._

_“Heaping means a little more than the amount we actually need, silly. You’ll put the entire quantities out of wack and mess up the recipe.” Y/N smiled at him, walking over to place a kiss on his cheek, as she rests her hands on his chest. She loved when he helped her in the kitchen, it reminded her that he wanted to ease her workload and spend time with her. He was always the biggest, softest man. It didn’t matter if the activity was feminine, or girly per say, he would do anything with Y/N as long as it meant he got her all to himself._

_“Well, you should have made that more clear before. Why is this such a complicated process anyway?” he said, as he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her in closer. She always smelled like fresh lavender, her rose moisturizer lingering on her skin. It was his favourite scent in the world._

_“I think I did, honey.” Y/N smirked up at him, wiping away flour from Keanu’s cheek with her thumb. He had somehow managed to get flour all over his face, and in his hair as well. Gosh, could he be anymore adorable?_

_“You look really pretty today, babe. Not to mention, this floral apron makes you look absolutely adorable.” He chuckled, pressing a kiss into her messy hair, his hands rubbing soothing circles on her back._

_Y/N smiled up at him, getting lost in his mahogany eyes, before she pressed a kiss to his broad chest._

_~~~~_

Memories like those killed Keanu a little more each time. He often found himself trying his best to not think of them, he knew his already fragile heart could barely take it anymore. He had stopped being able to shed tears anymore. He had blocked himself off from the rest of the world, almost putting up barriers. He knew Y/N was the only person that could make him feel true to himself again, and he knew she wouldn’t be coming back. Pulling a cigarette out of the pack with his teeth, Keanu continued his trek to the dimly lit backyard once again, to indulge in the sweet relief of the tobacco smoke that would soon fill his lungs.

_____

Y/N hadn’t been able to get a single moment of shut eye tonight either. She hadn’t been getting much relaxing done lately at all actually. The previous year had flown by, and it felt like just yesterday she had walked out of her home with Keanu and never turned back. She had prayed everyday that Keanu would find someone new to hold his heart, someone for him to confide in and share his life with. She still wanted him to be happy and experience all the joys of life. They hadn’t kept in touch, or been speaking since the break up, Y/N didn’t think she’d be able to stay away from him if she heard his voice. His beautiful, almost melodious voice. It was her favourite sound in existence. Even after the year she spent away from him, she could sometimes hear him in her head, like a poem she could recite a million times. Maybe that’s what they say about true love, it never really erases away. A part of it always stays, taking shelter in the depths of everything you do.

Y/N often had trouble sleeping even when she was still with Keanu. However, long, painful, sleepless nights were even harder to endure when you’re alone. She had come to learn that the hard way. Sitting up on her bed, pulling her knees to her chest, and staring at the empty space vacant beside her on the bed, she frowned. She remembered the way Keanu helped her on nights just like these. He would hold her close all night, whispering, talking to her, sharing stories until she would finally fall asleep. She would do the same for him in a heartbeat. They did those types of things for each other, that’s the kind of love they shared. They always tried to put the other before themselves.

~~~~

_“Why are you slouching, babe?” Keanu questioned as he walked into their bedroom. They were just about to get ready for bed. Y/N was sat on the edge of their bed, tilting her neck sideways while running her hand up and down the sides. The skin on her face was glowing from the moisturizer she had just applied after washing her face. He thought she looked the most beautiful at night, before bed. When she was finally relaxed, in her natural state of calm, and where only he could see and have her all to himself._

_“I had a pretty long day at work today, kinda got a stiff neck and shoulders.” Y/N replied, a slight wince apparent in her voice, as she closed her eyes._

_“Aw baby, why didn’t you call me? Here, lemme help.” Keanu started towards the bed. He propped himself just behind her on the bed, and moved her hair out of the way. Pressing a kiss to her shoulder blade, he began massaging her shoulders. His fingers worked at the knots, being careful to not hurt her more._

_“Oh my gosh baby, that feels amazing.” Y/N closed her eyes in ecstasy._

_Keanu chuckled, pressing another kiss to the back of her head. He kept massaging her, trying his best to relieve the tension. “How was your day today, other than that? Anything cool happen?” Keanu asked. He always asked about her day, because he genuinely cared and wanted to know. Y/N loved that so much about him. He never did things just out of routine, he did them because he actually wanted to. He invested himself in her, because he actually wanted to._

_“It was fine. Same old same old. Although I did pet a super cute puppy on my lunch break today.” Y/N replied, turning around to face him. “Can you cuddle me right now though? Jenny kept talking about how much she loves her new boyfriend today at work. I missed you a lot.”_

_“Did you only miss me because Jenny kept showing off her boyfriend?” Keanu chuckled, opening his arms to allow Y/N in._

_“Of course not.” Y/N smiled up at him. “I always miss you, you big dork.” Y/N laughed, nuzzling her face into his chest, breathing in his scent. Keanu wrapped his large arms tight against her, leaning back on the headboard. He placed a kiss in her hair, before running his hands up and down her back soothingly. “I always miss you too, love.” He whispered._

~~~~

Y/N hadn’t realized how heavy her tears had started falling after that memory surfaced her mind. Memories of Keanu would often come to her this way, creeping up and ultimately shadowing a gloom of heartache over her. Physical heart ache. The pain had got so much recently, Y/N almost didn’t know what to do with herself, how to escape the constant overshadow of her life with Keanu. Burying her face in her hands, Y/N cried her heart out in that moment. Perhaps, the hardest she’d cried in the last year.

“What the fuck am I doing?” Y/N questioned herself, sighing. Her tear stained eyes were starting to burn. “I love him so much. I love him so fucking much. What the fuck am I fucking doing?” she cried to herself, almost gasping for air. Her hands started to shake, and she felt like pulling all her luscious locks out of her head. She had managed to repress these feelings, but tonight, it was as if all the forces were against her. She didn’t think she could do it any longer.

With trembling fingers, she grabbed a hold of her phone, immediately scrolling to Keanu’s contact in her phone. She hadn’t deleted his number, or their text conversation. She hadn’t opened it in the last year they’d spent apart, she didn’t think she would be able to read it. It would have hurt too much. She also couldn’t bring herself to delete it, she didn’t want to delete any part of him from anything she had. As much as she had told herself she needed to, for his own good, she never truly wanted to let go of any part of him. No matter how much she lied to herself that she had to. Her eyes glossed over their last conversation, dating back to November of the previous year.

**_“On my way home now, babe. See you in 20.” – Keanu_**

**_“Ugh, I had the WORST day. Hurry home so we can watch the next episode of Black Mirror :)” – Y/N_ **

**_“How about I pick up some take out on my way home?” - Keanu_ **

**_“Please! Feel free to bring a few bars of kit kats as well….” – Y/N_ **

**_“Got it. See you soon darling.” - Keanu_ **

**_“See ya. Love you.” – Y/N_ **

**_“Love you more, honey.” – Keanu_ **

Staring at their convo made her heart ache even more. She hovered her finger over the “call” button, unable to hold back any longer. She dialed, but quickly shut it off after the first ring. She needed to see him. A phone call wouldn’t suffice. She didn’t care if it was past midnight, she needed to see him now. Grabbing a sweatshirt off the hamper beside her bed, she tugged it over her head swiftly as she paced out of her bedroom. 

_____

On her drive over to the house she used to share with Keanu, her phone rang twice with missed calls from Keanu. He had obviously started to worry about why she gave him a missed call in the middle of the night, after so long. He sent her a text as well.

**_“Hey Y/N, everything okay?” – Keanu_ **

She only drove faster as her eyes hovered over the screen.

As she parked her car in the familiar drive way, she got out and paced herself towards the front door. She felt a bit silly, but she knew she needed to do this right then and there. It had dawned upon her, that she had been keeping them apart from each other for all this time hoping it would be the best for them. But she realized it was wrong. She was miserable without him, he was miserable without her. He had been trying to tell her that for months now, but she wouldn’t listen. She was too stubborn. They needed each other, no matter how hard their relationship got at times. But maybe that was the beauty of it, maybe that’s what kept their bond so strong. She couldn’t be without him, and he couldn’t be without her. It was just the way it was.

She felt her entire body get tense as she walked up the pavement. Was she doing the right thing? She didn’t know anymore. She thought she did the right thing when she left that day, but time had obviously proved her wrong. She felt as if she couldn’t trust her judgment anymore regardless. Over anything else, she cursed herself for making Keanu go through all this pain. The image of him crying, begging her to stay, his red, tear stained eyes pleading flashed in her mind. She felt a tear roll down her cheek just at the thought of all the hurt she caused him. She would possibly curse herself every single day if things didn’t work out today. If he had moved on, and didn’t feel the same anymore.

Taking a deep breath, she rang the door bell, hugging herself as her mind raced, the arctic cold December air engulfing her figure, thinking of all the things that could go wrong. Before she could contemplate any further, a tired Keanu opened the door, taken by surprise at the sight of Y/N at the door. His Y/N.

“Y/N, oh my gosh, you’re here, is everything okay?” he questioned, taken back. He moved to the side. “Come in, please.”

“Hey.” Y/N sighed. She could smell a mixture of cigarette smoke, with a hint of wood, maybe a tinge of sage radiating off him. It felt so familiar, yet she felt slightly out of place, as if she had suddenly intruded. She quickly glanced around, the house was exactly how she left it. The pictures of them were still hanging on the walls.

Keanu shut the door, and stared at Y/N with worried eyes. “Are you okay, Y/N?” he was about to touch her arm, but caught himself. He didn’t want to invade her personal space. He didn’t want to do anything that would make her uncomfortable.

“Yeah. I guess. I uh, I don’t know, Ke. I feel like I don’t know anything anymore.” She replied, looking down at her feet, hesitant to say more.

“Hey hey, that’s alright. You don’t need to tell me anything right away. You wanna sit down? Here, I’ll grab you a cup of mint tea, your favourite.” Keanu said, compassionately. He was visibly worried about what brought her to him so unexpectedly. She felt her heart twist in her chest. He still cared for her just as much as he did for the 7 long years they spent, in love with each other. They still were in love with each other.

“No, its okay.” She grabbed at his arm, stopping him. She retracted as she realized that may have been slightly inappropriate, considering the circumstances.

Keanu gestured to the couch, inviting her to sit with him.

They sat in silence for a few moments, Y/N not sure how to start speaking. Keanu understood, he wanted to give her all the space and time she needed. Suddenly, Y/N chuckled a little, her sad eyes forming crinkles on the edges.

“Gosh…I feel like such an idiot. Such a stupid idiot.” She shook her head, looking down.

“Hey…don’t say that. What’s on your mind, love?” Keanu questioned, being patient and understanding. His hand hovered over hers, when she didn’t move her hand away, Keanu took it as an okay to hold her hand.

It felt good to hold her hand in his once again. It had been so long, but it felt so natural. So right.

“Ke I…I think..” she trailed off, searching for the right words, staring out the window. “I think I made the wrong choice. I think I was trying do what was right for the both of us. I really wanted you to be happy. I really did. But…I realized, I don’t think I..” she stopped speaking as her voice cracked. Keanu grabbed both her hands now. He almost couldn’t believe the words he was hearing. It felt too good to be true.

“Keanu, I don’t know if I’m over stepping. I don’t know if I’ve fucked this up beyond repair. I just know, this past year hasn’t felt right. I don’t even know if I’m making sense.” She finally looked up into his eyes. He started to form a gloss over his pupils.

Keanu chuckled, looking down at their hands holding each other. He hadn’t felt that happy in over a year, since the last time they were happy. Together.

“I wish we hadn’t lost that year…” Keanu said lowly, almost above a whisper.

“I wish we hadn’t either. I’m so sorry.” She replied, connecting their eyes once again. They both stared at each other for a moment, taking in each others each and every detail, each bump, each crevice. They both felt their hearts swell with happiness. They were finally home.

Keanu ran the pad of his thumb over her bottom lip, pulling her closer. He stared at her lips. “May I?” he asked permission. He wanted to be completely sure she was okay with this.

Y/N nodded her head, smiling, tears pooling her eyes. She moved forward, as he wrapped his arms around her tight. He couldn’t believe she was there, in his arms. He didn’t think he would ever get the chance to be so close to her once again. Finally, their lips connected for the first time in what felt like forever. Y/N wrapped her arms around his neck, tears streaming down her face.

“I’m so sorry, baby. So fucking sorry.” She started.

“Hey, no. Don’t you dare Y/N. We’re gonna put all this behind us, okay? I don’t wanna waste another second being away from you. You have no idea how lost I felt without you, baby.” He spoke, as he connected his forehead against hers. Y/N moved her hand to rest on his cheek as she closed her eyes.

“I felt so lost without you too, Ke. You’re all I’ve ever wanted, all I’ve ever needed. I don’t think I can ever stop loving you.” She replied.

“I won’t ever stop loving you either Y/N. You’re everything to me, my whole world. I never thought I could imagine my life without you, and this past year only proved that.” Keanu began to press soft kisses all over her face. One on her forehead, on her cheeks, on her nose, on her jaw. He couldn’t help himself.

Y/N smiled, running her hands through his hair. She nodded, agreeing with his every word. She felt like pouring her heart out to him, she wanted him to know just how much she loved him, and always would. No force strong enough could break what they had.

Keanu brought her hand up to his lips to press a kiss to the back of her hand. Tears were streaming down his face now as well. “Y/N, baby..” he started, as he shifted to kneel down in front of her. “I don’t want us to have to go through anything like this ever again. I felt so…trapped without you.” He grasped her hands tighter in his now. He started her right in the eyes, so she knew how sincere he was being.

“Y/N, you are my everything. I promise, I’ll try to better myself every single day for you. I promise I’ll be the best version of myself, because you make me wanna be that way. I promise I will do everything in my power to keep you happy, to love you, cherish you and treat you as the gem you are. I don’t want to see a future without you in it, I don’t even wanna think of building a home without you. I want to grow old with you, and I want to start my family with you. I owe you my everything, Y/N. Gosh, I love you so much.” He took her hand, and placed it on his chest, just above his heart.

“Every part of me belongs to you, Y/N. And it always will. I don’t want to waste another minute away from you.” He said, never breaking eye contact. Y/N nodded her head, smiling at him adoringly.

“Baby,” Keanu looked down quickly, gathering the strength to continue his sentence. “I know, this isn’t what you must have dreamed of, but I don’t think I can wait any longer. We owe this to ourselves. I know this isn’t traditional…” Keanu took a big breath, and exhaled. He locked eyes with her once again. “I’ve never felt so sure of anything in my entire life. You are my biggest achievement, what I’m most proud of.”

He softly brushed his fingers over the back of her hand, and gripped it tighter now.

“Y/N, will you do me the absolute honor of marrying me?” he asked, hopefully. “I’m not perfect in any way, but I promise I won’t ever let another tear stream down your face attributed by me.” Keanu leaned up to kiss a tear away from her cheek, soft as a feather. The moonlight channeling over the room only made his features look dreamier. “Unless, it’s a tear of joy.”

Y/N’s eyes widened, filling with even more tears.

“I don’t have a ring right now baby, but I promise I will put the biggest, most beautiful diamond ring on your finger. If you’ll have me, of course.”

Y/N smiled bigger than she ever had before. She couldn’t believe it, it was as if all the pieces fell perfectly into place right in that moment.

“Yes. Yes a million times.” She nodded frantically.

Keanu smiled huge as well, closing his eyes letting a tear stream down his cheek. He moved her ring finger to his lips and pressed a soft, delicate kiss to where the ring would rest.

Y/N pulled him in closer by the neck, and connected her lips to his. That kiss they shared may have been the most love filled kiss they ever shared, filled with all the hopefulness, all the passion they held for the future. All the gratefulness they felt to be brought back together once again. Always and forever.

“I love you. With everything I have. I will keep saying it to you each and every day of my entire life.” Keanu mumbled, resting his head in the crook of her neck.

“And I will say it right back, each and every day, for the rest of my life. I promise, nothing can keep me away from you ever again.” She replied, holding him close, refusing, to _let him go._

_fin._


End file.
